Getting Juicy

What day am I at now? I'm not sure, but I know I have to do 14 burpees by the end of the day. 13 nearly killed me last night. The thought that I need to get to 38 burpees seems like an impossible dream at this point.

This is the first Halloween that I'm not dressing up or going to a party. There are a couple of reasons:

1. I am have to pay off a credit card within the next 2 weeks. It was one of those- don't pay any interest for a year thingies that got me winter tires last year. So I'm more than a little cash poor. Can't be blowing my money now on booze.

2. Oh Henry bars. They are my kryptonite. I set a goal for myself to get through Halloween without eating a single trick or treat. In years passed I probably ate a bag or two by myself. Fill me with booze and I'll have no power to resist those devilish chocolate coated calorie bombs. I've done amazingly, I haven't eaten a single one. I doubt I'll get any trick or treaters, but if I do, I will give them an apple and ask them not to egg my car.

This last week has been good. I've juiced every day, and have done my burpees in addition to the usual walking. I've also been researching more about raw food. On the surface it looks like there isn't all that much to know... eat fruits and veggies raw right?

Well no! There are different camps. Like raw vegans who eat 80% carbs, 10% fat and 10% protein. They tend to eat mostly fruit. Like eating 30 bananas a day, seriously. I can't help but think that's just an eating disorder with a nicer name. Or the raw vegans who make copies of normal foods. Like un-baked muffins, or raw "pancakes." Or another camp that are all about juice feasting. Juice feasting is when you only drink juice, no eating for up to 90 days. I can't handle that much whole fruit, so I'm doing more of a 50/50 veggies and fruit, eating some and juicing some with a little bit of cooked food. A big glass of veggie/fruit juice is surprisingly filling. Today's intake: brown rice with raisins and soy milk for breakfast, a protein shake at lunch, 2 apples and almonds for lunch and a big juice and half a bagel for dinner. I might have some popcorn tonight, but I'm still way below my max calories for the day. So far, I feel good. I've been reading a lot about people going through nasty detox symptoms when they switch to raw vegan. I'm hoping that this won't happen to me because I haven't eaten the standard american diet in a long time (like meat and fried foods), plus I'm easing into it.

So who am I learning from? Lou Corona- this amazing guy who has been eating raw for 37 years and is 60 but looks 40. It's hard to describe him other than to say he has good energy. If he ever comes to town, I would love to hear him speak. And Dan the Man- he is all about veggie juicing. He is a wealth of information with about 1000 youtube videos. It helps to have the online community out there, cuz god knows I sure don't know any raw vegans. I also don't know any gluten free people either, but I had the determination to do that no problem. I think I can do this too. I wish I lived in the city where there are raw vegan restaurants. Oh well. One day.

Day one

Day one? Of what you ask?

Last week was a tough week for me, in a new office, feeling pretty insecure, and isolated. No body likes a whiner do they? I decided to do a couple things that make me feel good and hopefully turn things around. I'm going to do two 30 day challenges at once. My inspiration came from a couple of blogs that I started following. The first : http://www.yourinnerskinny.ca/category/blog/ it's written by a guy who lives up north and is really into fitness. (yes still obsessed with all things northern). What I like about his blog is that he has good youtube exercise videos that don't require gym equipment. Right now he is challenging people to do a burpee a day for 30 days. Today I did eight burpees without stopping, and tomorrow I'll do nine, then ten the next etc. Sounds do-able. If you don't know what a burpee is, google it.

The other blog that I'm following is http://www.loveveggiesandyoga.com/. This blog is written by a vegan, raw, Californian yogi. She is the most ripped woman I have ever seen in my life. I would love to be half as muscly! She has some really great recipes, she is inspiring me to try and eat more raw. I have always wanted to try going raw vegan, but I thought it would be too hard. What I learned from her website is to not think so black and white, I can just eat more raw foods, I don't have to go 100%. I find the hardest thing for me has been cutting out dairy, so instead, I'm just eating less dairy. Baby steps.

The next blog that I am loving http://kristensraw.com/blog/. This blog is written by a vegan raw body builder mommy. She's hardcore, my sister says she's insane. She looooves protein shakes. I can understand this, I have drank a vegan protein shake almost everyday for the last 18 months. I love the taste and I love how I feel just by upping my protein intake. She is also a big fan of juicing. I have juiced in the past, but nothing too exotic. These days I'm being more adventuresome, I just polished off a cucumber, celery, apple juice. It was fantastic. My other favorite? Carrot, spinach, red chard, orange. Before I would have called bullshit, but it really does taste good. This is the other part of my 30 day challenge, I'm going to juice everyday for the next 30 days.

I think drinking juice everyday is pretty doable too. I'm not taking it too the extreme like Dr. Ali. Who's Dr. Ali? Well he is a vegan raw guy who ingested nothing but juice for 92 days. No eating, nothing but juice. Incidentally he's also a guy I used to get high with in high school. Dude did a total 180, let me tell you. If you're interested in he has some good juice recipes : http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRawFoodDoctor#p/a

So this is my part of my plan, focusing on the things that make me feel good. It should be a great month. The only downside is that it takes a while for the digestive system to balance out. Words of wisdom: increase your fibre intake slowly. This is part of the reason why I am juicing instead of eating whole fruits and veggies.

float on you bastard, float on

Ahhh, the struggle of negative thoughts taking over.

A quick tally of the number of hours I have spent lately fighting the negative thoughts floating around in my head was about 6-8 hours a day. What a waste of energy. I've been reading about my specific thoughts, and how to move beyond them. As I suspected, the most common treatment is medication, but I'm determined to not do that. Why apply a bandaid. I think my anxiety has just been kicked into overdrive by my new job.

So instead, I'm going to try a technique to retrain my thinking. The more a thought comes to mind that is distressing, the more attention it gets, and in turn the more it keeps coming up. It's like having a cupboard full of chocolate and telling yourself not to thing about it. Impossible!! So I'm going to try "mindful acceptance." Whenever I have unwanted thoughts, I am going to stop, breathe and observe the thought passing by like a cloud in the sky. So rather than stressing, I hopefully will instead focus on the thought drifting away. I hope that I won't be bothered by the thought if I think of it like a cloud, and if I'm not bothered by the thought, it won't come back so often. The cloud thing makes sense to me.

I know that lots of people have the same unwanted thoughts, let's try this mindful acceptance thing. If nothing else, I'll spend lots of time thinking about clouds. That'll be an improvement.

return to baking

Okay, I've picked myself up and climbed out of the sad-sack I was in. Still reading The Secret, focusing on the positives, not letting myself sabotage the good things that come my way. Fear not, this is a happy post!

I haven't baked anything in about 2 years. I had some pretty sad failures in my attempts at gluten-free baking. Nothing is worse than making a big batch of something and then throwing it out. Before going gluten-free, I baked a lot, I enjoyed baking. I started to enjoy it a lot less when everything I made turned out like crap.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick, but couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I've been glutened, Old Dutch Ketchup chips struck again. This is the third time. Their website says the chips are gluten-free so I always figured something else I ate had made me sick. Third time? I'm pretty convinced. Piss on you Old Dutch Chips!

What is the best cure for gluten sickness? For me a liquid diet, with my pj's infront of the TV while checking out gluten-free blogs. I found a new blog with a really yummy pumpkin spice muffin recipe. I had a new multi-purpose baking mix I hadn't tried out yet (I'm not even sure why I bought it) so I made a batch. Maybe it would help me get my mind off the pain of the gluten-monster destroying my intestinal tract.

The results? Flipping amazing! I don't think anyone would be able to tell it was gluten-free. Light, moist, pumpkiny. Yummo!

Tomorrow I'm off to the new office in Chilliwack, wish me luck!

Boredom

I'm still slowly reading through The Secret. Some good things have come from focusing on the positive things I wanted. It is a good reminder to focus on the positives in life, and go with the flow.

But somethings haven't worked out how I thought. I knew that at the end of my 12 week training I would be placed in a new office in one of three suburbs. I had prepared myself for having to commute over an hour each way for a month or so until I could find a new apartment. I was looking forward to being closer to friends and being able to jump on the skytrain and be downtown. After moving to the country and finding it difficult to socialize, I was really looking forward to the change.

Let me explain. I live the bible belt- it's a strange mix of Mennonites, Hudderites, Mormons, Sikhs and newly released parolees. Turns out super religious people have their own social functions within the church. I didn't really see myself joining a church to make friends- it seemed wrong. So I started a coffee social group, but got freaked out by a creepy dude that started sending me angry pseudo-threatening emails after what he believed was a date. That was pretty much the end of that. I made a list of activities I wanted to do : enroll in yoga and pottery classes. However, there wasn't any pottery studios in 30 km, and there is only 1 yoga studio in town- hot yoga- not interested. So then I decided I would volunteer! But that didn't pan out either. Every flipping volunteer organization is linked to a church! The SPCA is not looking for volunteers either. I could volunteer in the local prisons, if it didn't mean volunteering for my previous employer. Now I'm contemplating winter sports... curling? Oh god, I don't think I want to be that uncool.

This makes me wonder if I would have made it living in the high arctic. I won't ever know since I am pretty well committed to living in this province now. Although there aren't the same sort of religious communities there, so who knows?

It's been very frustrating. I look forward to work because my weekends are so boring unless I drive into the city. So you can see how I was looking forward to moving! On Friday I got an email telling me congratulations for the next 5 months you will be working in Chilliwack/Hope. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Get me the fuck out of the bible belt. Going back to The Secret, I'm fairly sure this is not something I focused on. In fact, I was specifically told when I was hired that I was only hired to work in those specific three cities. This news came as a shock.

So I have 20 weekends ahead of me until I will change communities again. What to do? Will it be a long dark winter? (I have a mental picture of The Shining going through my head. Please don't let me end up like Jack)

I need a plan! There is a yoga studio in construction on the other end of town. I am enrolling. Even if it's crappy B.O. inducing yoga. Maybe I'll start swimming at the community centre on Sunday mornings- it's bound to be a ghost town then!

welcome back!

Yes it's true I'm back.

Lots of changes have happened since the end of the Hottie of the Game series ended. I quit the hellish job and got a new job that I love. I'm a whole lot happier.

The best part of the job is that from here I can go anywhere. I haven't really decided where I want to go. I have always wanted to move back to the Kootneys. I have been doing a little bit of research and stumbled on a blog that now I'm addicted to it. It is written by a gluten-free vegan clothing designer in Nelson. I envy her joie de vivre. It's all sunshine and lollipops. I'm a firm believer that everything works out in the end and that life is what we make it. For a while now she's been going on about The Secret. I've heard a lot of people talk about this self-help book, but thought it was too out there. I decided to give it a shot. Stay tuned.

On a side note, sometimes I wish I was less observant. Last week I shared an elevator ride with a prostitute and her john - aka my neighbour. It really has not helped me in anyway to know this about my neighbour. But what has been bugging me more is the look that she gave me. Misery. This middle aged south asian man and a strung out meth faced girl did not belong together, and she knew that I knew what was going on. Sigh... I love my apartment, I hate the neighbours.

Go Hotties Go!

Bobby Lou

Max Lapierre again. Sick obsession forming.

Ahhhhwww! Sweet and Hot

Burrows (again)

Stanley Cup Final Hottie Parte une

Maxim Lapierre. Sexy Frenchie, mais oui.

file it under cathartic

Today I overheard someone say "I can't do it! I'm too stupid" I immediately thought, "negative self talk, she's self -sabotaging". She soon gave up whatever she was trying to do and stormed off down the hall. I thought to myself, of course you failed, you told yourself you would.

We all have that voice that tells us we are stupid/wrong/worthless etc etc. About an hour after I overheard the lady being so hard on herself, I was replaying my day in my mind thinking how I could have answered questions differently, how I don't deserve x,y and z. I was remembering moments just so I could analyze the body language of the women sitting across the desk from me, wondering if they were pleased with me. Did they think I was a waste of time? Rather than be confident in my knowledge and experiences, I suddenly found myself thinking that they were disappointed in me, and how my responses might have been lacking or how I rambled on wanting to fill the silence as their pens jotted down every word. I thought to myself, "well, find a lesson in this, because you clearly blew it." I thought of the woman who left the office before me, she had a big smile on her face, looked so much more professional and in that moment seemed in every way better than me. She drove a lexus and wore high heels, so clearly she was better than me. It went on and on, the negative thinking. Then I snapped out of it, I literally told myself out loud "stop it". I did well, I said what I planned to say, I was poised and confident. Why prepare myself for disappointment? Why do I need to be disappointed at all?

It can be really hard to snap ourselves out of the negative thinking. It just sneaks in there! An hour later it was back. And so I'm blogging my way through it. I used to have a little internal mantra that I would repeat to myself at a concert while I waited for the curtain to go up. "I am awesome, I am awesome, I am Hilary". It drowned out the other voice. But I never really believed it, and after a while I stopped performing.

Today, I was asked to list some of my strengths and it was very hard for me. Don't we learn early on to be humble and not to toot our own horn? It's as if no one will like you if you do toot your own horn. What a terrible thing to learn, men don't learn this, and it helps them in the job field. I sat with a volunteer just last week and pointed out to her all of her skills and experiences and how she needs to be putting them on her resume and talking about them in interviews. I think she's amazing! How silly, that I can't do the same for myself!

Negative thinking is a huge problem for me. But, I'm working on it. Since the concept of wellness has been on my mind so much, I keep finding so many topics that I would like to cover. So many of my clients are victims of their own negative thinking. Sometimes, I wonder how they don't see it. But then it's always easier to recognize self sabotaging behaviours in others. The real challenge is changing the way we think about ourselves.

you tell me which one is the hottie

photo credits : http://www.nardwuar.com/

I have an idea and almost a plan

My friend Krisztina has a life coach and has told me so much about this amazing woman. I was intrigued by this life coach as she seemed to have a holistic approach that seemed to affect a positive change in all parts of my friends life. I had been thinking that this might be something that I could benefit from, but the cost is too much for me right now. This part of my life seems to be a time of never ending transition and I think a life coach could help me get to where I want to be. I am not very happy in what I am doing anymore and am thinking of making a change, but I don't really know what I want to do, but I have a sense of it being less ... confined? Is that the word I'm looking for? I'm sick of doing what I am told to do. Working for a very hierarchical organization, so often the direction of the organization or even of my job is on a need to know basis.



I had been thinking about the possibility of blogging professionally. I know, you are thinking how inconsistent I am in blogging. Why do I think I might be able to do it as a job? Part of the reason I am inconsistent with this blog is because it's theme is personal, and given my job, putting personal stuff out there isn't maybe my best bet.



I was thinking about doing a blog based on living abroad, of course, I don't live abroad, and don't really have any expertise in that area. And then I started thinking about wellness, an area I do know a lot about. My friends life coach has an online self-help 12 week course which focuses on personal development. I was thinking of doing something similar- teaching people the importance of taking care of themselves and maintaining a healthy life work balance. At my last workplace, this was important to all of the team. I really got in to the habit of consistent self-care and we encouraged this in each other. My current workplace is an example of the opposite. Everyone is sickly- like serious autoimmune diseases attacking their bodies. They have no concept of life/work balance, poor coping skills and don't do anything to take care of themselves. Toxic people, I don't want to be around them. Unfortunately, they really have no interest in changing the negatives and don't see how their lifestyle can make them sick. This is really not my audience. I'm thinking that my audience is professionals and maybe moms. Moms often take care of everyone else and can neglect themselves in the process.




I am already a fan of web pages with this theme. I found a website that teaches newbies how to meditate via an online or mp3 downloadable course that includes videos, homework projects and self exploration. The most amazing thing of all is that it's 100% free. I have no idea how such a well developed website can operate for free. It's less than a year old, and I wonder if it will change. Many of the websites that claim to focus on wellness are websites about dieting. Wellness is so much more.




I'm in the research phase, and web page building skills is really my weakness. Marketing I can do, content development I can do. I have all the drive and ambition in the world, but sometimes think that I can't do something. A negative way of thinking that is really just a form of self-sabotage. Whining about my life is pointless, I am perfectly capable of making change happen.





The reason for this blog post, is 1. to put my intention out there, and 2. to reach out to all you smart blog readers. Does anyone have some website design skills that they would be willing to share? Does this concept sound like a stupid?

A Double Shot of Hot

Okay and we're back being able to post pictures. What a game! I was madly driving home and missed the first three goals. I'm pretty sure the people driving behind me thought I was having a seizure. It's not easy to celebrate a goal while driving. Why did I wait so long to post a picture of Bieksa? He's been doing great! I just didn't want to overload you with the hotness. Don't worry Burrows, soon you will get a Hottie of the Game post all to yourself.

We're almost there, we could be as little as 5 games away from the cup. Oh, the riot. We Canucks are going to be more destructive than a hurricane hitting a trailer park. Either way, it's going to be memorable.

Is anyone else curious to see what the security is going to be like next to the penalty box in Vancouver? Me thinks there will be no more shenanigans or flashers.

And The Hottness Continues

A serious concern, if the Canucks keep on winning, I may run out of hotties. But this time blogger is preventing me from uploading pictures. A bug that needs to be worked out? Anyhoo, my hottie of the game is Bieksa....

Happy Birthday This Hottie's for You!

Moving on to the third round mostly because of this hottie.

Hottie for the last game

I'm sorry Kesler. You deserved to be my hottie of the game on Thursday. Sadly Shaw cable suckith. It took 3 weeks to get internet and when they arrived this morning they were still confused. Why is it so hard to disconnect the previous tenant and reconnect me? I faxed you my lease agreement 2 weeks ago. I swear, I am not the person who used to live here. Why aren't you aware that I returned your modem and PVR two months ago to the Shaw office in Chilliwack. Oh, you have cable, and phone already set up, why am I here? For internet? But don't you want the phone and cable? This isn't your account?

Good lord, just give me internet! I have a back log of hotties!

All work and no internet makes for no hotties

Game 3

Sorry loyal readers, this puck bunny is too tired from moving to even think about who was the hottie of the game. There are two good things to report, besides moving to my fancy new place: I have free cable tv, and I'm able to poach someones wireless signal. Hope this keeps up for a while! I kinda like not having any utilities. Until game 4....

Game 2 hottie (...?)

It's an unlikely pick for the hottie of the game, isn't it. But those teeth make Fin fall into the "bad-boy" category. Everyone loves a bad boy. Truth is, I expect a long playoff run, and I can't post all of my amazing pictures in the first round. We started off with a bang, and I know that everyone is just going to scroll down past this post to drool over Petr.

It's getting hot in here

Oh yes. It's hottie of the game time. I know you've all been dying to see who would be the first hottie of the 2011 season. And now you are wondering "who the hell is that?" Well it's Petr Sykora. He's not a Canuck, but how the hell could I not post this picture? Where did I find this gold? On a gay hockey fan page. It's a website that's so NSFW. I didn't think that any one player stood out in game one. No one made the cut. Thank goodness for Petr.

universally speaking?

Well, it is an obsession. I can't really help it. Having lived in just about every province, I feel I need to live in the arctic so I can tick off that box on my "to-do" list. With all of my stuff in boxes already, I sort of feel like renting a storage locker and taking off.

Oh, yes. It is almost as far away as I can get (in Canada). I'm not sure if that has some sort of deeper meaning of not. Although I think part of the charm is moving to a place that few people have seen. I think it would be a fun challenge to purchase a years worth of food in advance and wait for it to arrive on a barge. Do you have any idea how many rolls of toilet paper you would need? I can think of some Nunavut bloggers who know that answer. Imagine living without a cell phone and commuting to work on a skidoo or ATV. I've lived in some teeny tiny hamlets, but there has always been the option of driving down the road to the "big city." But with no 'big city' to escape to, you'd be forced to really engage in the community. And living on the ocean would be great.

Ahhh...

Well maybe I'm over romanticising a place I've never seen. But, sooner or later it's going to happen, and I'll be scared shit-less to leap, but I will. And this sad little blog will really be something worth reading! It will become the crazy rantings of a homesick cabin-fevered cat lady.

another moving post. Seriously

I'm knocking things off my "to-do" list left, right and centre. Today the first load of boxes made it to the final destination, I put in a change of address and have rented a PO Box. To avoid having to change my address twice in 2 months, I decided to rent a PO Box near work and manually change my address again when I have a new home. It cost more than I thought, but it's a lot less work and I kinda like being even less findable. Not that I think someone would hunt me down, but I prefer to remain a lady of mystery. I think this is pretty good considering I also worked and spent another joyful 3 hours commuting to and from work.

I am bracing for snow-mageddon or snow-pocalypse tomorrow. I have about 10 things on my to do list for tomorrow. Dropping off donations, buying paint to do touch ups, figuring out my cellphone options, and more packing and more moving. But depending on how badly the world grinds to a halt, I may opt to be a shut-in and eat chocolate and watch hockey. Or "1 girl, 5 gays" I love that show. I love Yerxa!

There is a point to the pointless post. And that is: if you are ever planning on mailing me something, ask me for my new address.

it's on

My car is loaded up with boxes. It's official, I am in the process of moving. This move is so different from last time. My last place required 2 months notice. I took my time packing and was really, really organized. I didn't want miscellaneous boxes, every box had a theme to it. I waited until the last moment to pack my kitchen. This time is pretty much the opposite. I made the decision to move on Friday, it's now Thursday and most of my stuff is packed. I have several miscellaneous boxes, and boxes that don't have any labels. I'm sure this will bite me in the butt in the future. I decided that I should pack all of my dishes and cutlery asap. I'm so busy with packing, that the dirty dishes were piling up. It's already my least favorite chore, so I am going 100% disposable until I move. I am giving myself a dishwashing vacation! But fear not. I bought 100% recycled biodegradable stuff with exception of the cutlery. I don't like wooden cutlery. One splinter in my lip was all I needed to learn that lesson!

I've been downsizing a lot. I would like to live in an ultra-modern minimist space. I am not there yet, but packing while watching Hoarders is a good motivator! I try really hard to stick to the rule that if you haven't used it in a year and don't have plans to use it immediately, then get rid of it. Only once or twice have I actually gone out and purchased the same item again. One was a juicer and the other was a manual food processor. The juicer was a mistake, I love it (all over again) but the food processor is so cheap that I have no regrets having to purchase it again. The replacement one is currently sitting in my "to donate" box. It's not worth storing it for the few times a year I use it.

There are a few big items I want to get rid of but there is always someone who thinks I'm crazy. I always feel trapped by my big belongings. I don't like asking for help, and with big furniture, I will never be able to move without help. So far I have said goodbye to my couch, bed frame and big coffee table. I'm thinking of getting rid of my BBQ for the same reason. It's like new- because it's undercover, and because I don't eat meat or put anything directly on the grill. I don't really need a full size BBQ. I'd be perfectly happy with a small one that I can also take with me camping. It's even harder to make decisions when I don't know what my future home will be like.

By the end of this I'm going to trade my bed for a foamy and have all my worldly possessions wrapped in a square of fabric at the end of my fishing stick.

there is a season....

According to New York Life 13% of parents say that at least one of their adult children has moved back home in the last year and adult children are living with their parents for longer. Of course I want to be "on trend". I have made the huge decison to move back in with the 'rents. The move is partly financial, partly geographical and partly crazy. It's been a decade since I lived at home, so this should be interesting.


So clear your calendars towards the end of march so you can help me move!


Just like 2 years ago, I am changing jobs, moving and going insane all at once. I've started the new job and am suffering with the change. It is not the job I thought I was interviewing for, and instead is exactly what I didn't want. The job description changed after I accepted. I'm torn between trudging through and learning to love it, or continue to job hunt and network my way outta here. Time will tell....

In happier news I have decided what my purpose in life is! No small thing let me tell you. My purpose in life is to give as much to the universe as I take from it. Luckily there are a lot of ways to give back. My goal is to give and recieve equally in all areas. I tend to give too much in one area and recieve nothing in another. I want to be balanced. Oh so new age-y isn't it? I love it!

It's not me, it's you

I recently learned that someone really really dislikes me. I don't really care very much, I won't lose sleep wondering why and how I can win them over. This person just isn't important to me and I probably wouldn't be very successful at convincing them of my awesomeness anyways. I sort of wonder how long ago this hatred started brewing, and why someone even bothered to build-up that much anamosity towards me. Let's be honest, what's not to love about me? It seems like a waste of time to hate someone and for them not even to know it.

This is a lesson I learned a long time ago. I was really angry at someone, and would lay in bed at night losing sleep thinking about how much I wanted bad things to happen to her. This went on for months (on and off). One day I saw her and she was completely oblivious to my hatred of her. I realized that she hadn't lost a minute of sleep wondering how to win me back as a friend. In fact, she hadn't even got the memo that we weren't friends anymore. All that time wasted envisoning tragedies befalling her were a complete waste of time. The only one punished was me! Maybe if I had let her know right from the start, she could have shared in the misery. Like a Carlton card that reads "Just a note to let you know, My hatred of you continues to grow".

I don't carry that anger anymore, it felt pretty pointless. But I do kind of feel bad for the person carrying around so much hate for me. I never felt good about myself when I was hating on my ex-friend, and I can't imagine my hater is very happy either. And so I wish for my hater that one day they can let the anger go because it's not hurting me. I even wish my hater good things.

sad but true

"Surely you can't be serious"
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley"
...
...
"This woman must be taken to a hospital"
"A hospital? What is it"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

~Airplane. One of my favorite movies.

RIP Leslie Nielsen

Several months ago my camera died. Maybe you noticed the lack of pictures on the blog? It really killed my blogging enthusiasm. This week my co-worker brought her new camera in to try. I was so sold on it, and now it's all I can think about.

Note to Self:

Good Ideas, I'm full of them

But not flush with the money needed to accomplish much of anything. The job hunt is always ongoing, not because I'm unhappy where I'm at... (hello co-workers reading my blog)... but because if something amazing comes along, I don't want to miss it. There are a couple of communities that I really would like to move to. But there is a big problem, a total lack of social services. I started thinking, rather than waiting for the job, why not go out there and create the program? I did a half assed attempt today to try and talk the uppitty-ups into expanding our services there. Not much luck.

It's kind of frustrating. I am sort of thinking that I should just write a proposal and see what happens. I have done my homework. The community had a 10.6% growth rate from 2001-2006 (judging by the number of new homes in the last few years, this rate has continued). It is serviced by 2 social service agencies, one who focuses on youth and another that focuses on homeless people. There are no services specifically for women except one small house for women fleeing abuse. What I want to propose is a women's drop-in centre for street women (providing basic needs) and a second stage housing/BC housing complex for women and children. You'd think I'd be able to talk my feminist social service agency into this....right? Anyone out there have secret skills in writing proposals? If so contact me.

you can do it!

My co-worker is also applying to a social work program (although at a different school). We were discussing my funding problem, and we both agree that if it's important to me, I will find a way to pay for school. I have contemplated moving to a less expensive apartment (unlikely), moving in with my dad (really unlikely) and putting a posting on sugardaddy.com (no freak'n way). But I am the sort of person that likes to fix my own problems and I don't like asking for help. So I have been doing internet researching on penny pinching tips.

It all started with a food budget. I stumbled along a series of blogs written by mom's with A LOT of kids. Like I-have-15-kids-and-want-more-if-it's-God's-Will kind of mom's. Interesting blogs to say the least. One blog that blew my socks was by a stay-at-home mom of 4 whose husband worked at Walmart, they survived on under $1000 a month. Because they wanted to live poor like Jesus did. INSANITY.

It seems the secret for these families for making their money go farther was to buy in bulk and not want too much stuff. Mom seemed to make everything from scratch and sew everyone clothes. I'm not too sure these are tips I can use. The only good tip I got was to meal plan, stick to a grocery shopping list, and only buy things on sale. I generally decide what I'm going to eat based on what I want to eat, not what was on sale.

The other tip that I will be forcing myself to follow is to eat the contents of my pantry. I'm not sure if it's genetic or not but I have a fully stocked pantry at all times. My Dad's has always been the same. I remember canning all summer and hoarding away food in preparation for the winter, just like a squirrel. I'm not sure why I am always expecting the end of civilization to strike. But rest assured that when it does, I will have tons of food on hand. I have even contemplated putting all of my canned goods in a tote in the cupboard with a can opener so that in the event that I need to grab food and run, I've got everything I need. Clearly I'm a total freak. But I think this is because of Hollywood. One of my favorite genres are "end of the world" dramas.

So what's this picture all about? Getting back to the idea of making things work if it's important to you....

The above picture is from a blog. picture 10 kids, 2 adults living in a 2 bedroom house. This was their solution, 2 industrial shelving units in a room with custom cut foam padding mattresses. They squished two of these racks into one bedroom and were able to house 9 kids. The 10th kid in case you were wondering is an infant and sleeps with mom and dad.

Frustrated!

Yup that pretty much sums it up.

In December I will be applying for the social work program. I have been planning everything (way in advance because that's how I tick). I'm more than a little worried that I can't afford to go back to school. Of course the whole point of going back to school is so I can get a better job. What a real kick in the pants it is to realize that I need to get the better paying job first.

The program is through distance education, which is good because it allows me to study while still working 2 jobs. I just realized that this means I will be repaying student loans and paying tuition at the same time! I SO cannot afford to do that!

How am I going to swing this? I have decided that my vacation/big purchase fund will be re-purposed. If I sacrifice a vacation next summer [no Hong Kong :( ] and don't buy anything out of the ordinary (like snow tires or a couch) I think I should have almost enough for tuition. My other plan of attack is to have a food budget. I don't know how much I currently spend on food/Starbucks, but I think it's probably too much. Because I have to eat gluten-free, I allowed myself to buy $7 loafs of bread. Not anymore. I have set a new limit $50 per week. Is this manageable? $200 per month sounds like a lot....

Having read online, I might be able to drop the budget lower, but I'm not willing to eat garbage just because it's cheap. People living on Food Stamps get $21 per week. Having read the blog experiments trying to survive on that, I know that's too extreme.

a hodge podge

I'm sure that I could stretch this out to 4 or 5 boring blog posts, but I might as well bore you all at once.

This would be a blog post about a piece of art I just bought. However, my camera doesn't work. A new camera is just one of many things on my wish list. Anyways, I was at my local VV Boutique looking at Halloween costumes when I spotted the print. I saw a man looking at the "art" section from about 40 feet away. I knew what I saw. An Inuit painting. (Yes, again my fixation with all things Nunavut.) Well the print is similar in style to this one:

Except mine is white, black, red and yellow. No hunting theme for me, it shows a community loading traditional sleds called qamutik's. It isn't signed, so I have no idea who it's by. Anyways, I watched the guy, and as soon as he walked away, I pounced! I was watching him so hard, he probably left because he felt uncomfortable.

You might be thinking that I should just move there since I'm obviously obsessed. So far I have applied to a couple postings, but haven't been called for any interviews. But now is not the time of year to move up there as the barges have stopped running for the year. Next spring, I may start applying again. For the last little while I have grown weary of working two jobs to make ends meet. For a long while I had only been applying to jobs that I felt I was well qualified for. I've pretty much given up on that and have started to apply to anything and everything.

When I was first starting college, I wanted to take social work. I was talked out of it, as there weren't a lot of jobs in the field at the time. This is a decision I regret making. I am tentatively planning to apply for social work school in the new year. In the meantime, I discovered that the Ministry of Children and Families doesn't require a social work degree. I always thought they did, and so I never applied for any social work positions. Not any more! A job posting came up in Nelson, and I was on it! I would love to move back to the Kootney's. We'll see! Think of all the hippies. I bet I'd be considered normal with my Celiac disease!

Okay back to VV boutique... I started looking through the clothes when I started thinking about bed bugs. Believe me, bed bugs are an epidemic in North America. Every month I sit through a health and safety meeting, inevitably the agenda includes bed bugs. This job is going to make me a germophobe. A house full of communicative diseases and absolutely no client awareness of how to stop the spread. Anyways, once I started to think of the good possibility that the clothing had come into contact with bed bugs, I didn't really want to shop anymore. So either stop shopping at thrift stores, or follow bed bug safety. Do at least one of the following:

1. the freezer- a couple of days oughta kill the buggers

2. the dryer- wash all clothing and put in the dryer on high heat

3. boil it- if you can't freeze or cook em, then boil for a least one minute

Also be suspicious of anyone giving away nice furniture. That's my public service announcement for the day.

Back into the fire

Well there were no campfires allowed due to the dryness of late summer. But camping was good nonetheless. Little did I know that the campsite was 5000 feet about sea level. It was very very cold. All I packed was tank-tops and shorts. I really needed to pack the winter survival gear! I spent one night shivering, and the next two I spent crammed into a tiny cabin.

Lots of wildlife was seen: moose, chipmunks, marmots, and rabbits. Although there were lots of fish jumping, no one caught any fish. My uncle chose to sleep in the back of his truck at the top of the road instead of in the cabin. In the middle of the night he felt something big bump against the side of the truck hard enough to wake him. After the second time, he opened the tailgail and shone his flashlight out to the left and to the right. He saw nothing and so went back to sleep. The truck was bumped around again after that. He decided that whatever it was probably couldn't get him in the truck and it was better to stay in the truck than wander around in the pitch black. Whatever it was very big.

In the morning he awoke to see that he was surrounded by 30 cows sleeping around his truck. The cows had been grazing in the night and were sticking their heads under the truck to get grass and while doing so were pushing the truck around! What a relief, since the most logical explanation was that a bear was trying to get in the truck.

But now I'm back to the craziness that is work. Friday the thirteenth. I saw the darkside, and it was scary as hell.

On Vacation

Leaving Rut-ville behind.

Welcome to Rut-ville!

Okay I admit it. I'm unhappy.


I feel like I'm in a massive rut with no easy way out. I tend to go through these cycles of contentment and then suddenly I'm in a rut. Once in a rut, I tend to make pretty big drastic decisions. What do these include?

1. Spending 9 months travelling across Canada.
2. Moving x 3
3. Applying for jobs in Iqaluit, Prince George, Nelson
4. Going back to school x 3
5. Changing jobs or careers x 2
6. Learning to drive 13 years late
7. Buying a car
8. Getting a cat x 2
9. Walking away from a bad friendship

Most of the above list I did fairly recently, and I don't regret any of them. -But it isn't enough. I'm back in Rut-ville. What do you do when you feel stuck? I have been working out like crazy, and trying to stay busy and do a bunch of job hunting in hopes that it will satiate my desire to make BIG changes. How do I stop this feeling from coming back every 6 months?

well at least I know...

I'm not sure if it's good news or bad news. I still have hives, everyday. I think I'm in the sixth week, but I kinda lost count. I went back to the doctor today to follow-up. Fifth Disease is the likely diagnosis. Knowing that it isn't a food allergy is the good news. It also explains why I suddenly have the arthritic hands of a 90 year old. The bad news is that it will last for MONTHS. Reading on the internet, it could last for Y-E-A-R-S! Deep breaths. It won't kill me.

I have resigned myself to waking up itchy and sleepwalking to my antihistamines. Apparently, my body is on high alert and will react to everything which is why I ended up looking like this:

Advil did this to me. This is me sitting in the ER waiting for the Doctor. He took pictures of me to show his students! I can't try Advil again for at least 3 months. I'm too scared to. It wasn't fun looking like a plastic surgery freak.

After a bit of internet learning, this virus is usually seen in little kids and is really mild and short lived. Often so mild that people are unaware they have the virus.

My new car!

Okay, well not this exact one. Mine is blue/grey. Initially I wasn't super keen on buying a domestic car; then I learned that the car isn't even built by Chevrolet- it is a Suzuki. It had everything I was looking for: super compact, air conditioning, and almost new. It actually works out better for me in the end to buy a car still on warranty and finance it rather than buy an older car. I have no car knowledge at all. I have trouble pumping gas. It made sense for me to buy a newer car and avoid the problems older cars have. I'm really happy with it.

Follow-up

I realized that I never updated the blog on a couple of things. Firstly the handy dandy device above which was meant to turn my tv into my computer screen. Turns out it was crap. I think that converting the signal just killed the quality of the picture. The picture was so distorted that the fonts were unreadable- too tiny and fuzzy. Plus another drawback was the number of cables running to and from the device. It was a spaghetti factory. If it could be done wirelessly, I would. The whole reason I bought it was because I planned to cancel my cable. I wouldn't be using my tv at all, so I thought I would re-purpose it. When I called the cable company to cancel, they made me an offer I couldn't refuse. So it was all for not.

Laptop Lunch box:

I would move the picture above down here if I could but for some reason, I can't move pictures anymore. I love my lunch box. If someone else hadn't already thought of blogging about their packed lunches, I just might have done it! I spend the whole morning looking forward to opening up my lunch box. My co-workers and clients crane their necks to see what I have today. After doing so, they are usually disappointed with their own boring lunches. There is much to be said for making your meals esthetically pleasing.


And then there were the hives...

It's been 3 weeks and I still have them a little bit. Nothing like they were before. After being on the really strict elimination diet for days I was no further ahead. According to the directions, after a day or two eating plain rice and veggies the hives should go away. They didn't, instead I developed something like arthritis in my joints. Wow, that was awful. Ever tried to not use your hands AT ALL? It's impossible. After all of that, it probably wasn't an allergy at all, but a virus. Hopefully it will just continue to get better. I'd cross my fingers, but they hurt.

Dreaming of yogurt

This is my punishment for giving up sugar. I got so cocky that I could give up sugar that the universe made me give up everything. Universe, I'm sorry.

The allergy elimination diet is so restrictive! I pretty much eat the same meal three times a day. Brown rice, fish, most fruits and veggies and hemp milk. That's it. It's working, the hives were significantly better, and today almost gone. So as long as I don't have hives tomorrow I will be adding in one new food tomorrow. It's a tough decision. I want to add something that will bring the most variety to my diet. I think I have finally decided on yogurt. I am craving it like mad. Or I'll add soymilk or corn tortillas ... or... or... It's sort of like that game- if you were on a desert island and could choose one food what would it be? Is it wrong that I kinda want to add candy?

10 days of hives

Yeah. It sucks.

I've never had a reaction like this before. I have looked at all the external things in my environment and have ruled out soaps etc. Today I have come to the realization that it is something I have lately been eating almost everyday. I thought I was in the clear yesterday, but this morning, the hives were back- full force.

I'm home sick today writing a food journal and researching elimination diets. Even in the darkest gluten-sickness days before I knew I had Celiac disease, I never kept a food journal. I'm not sure why I am so resistant to tracking what I eat. But I'm doing it now. I have figured out a couple of possibilities. I am now on the toughest diet ever. Basically brown rice, fish, fruits and veggies and water. That's it. No dairy, no soy, no gluten free breads, no eggs, no beans, no potatoes and no sugar. I do this until I don't have any hives and then add in one food every 3-4 days. It is recommended that that you wait 21 days before you add in any new foods. I know that I would never last that long, so I'm doing a variation.

HIVES!

Yeah, sadly I don't mean that sort of hive. I have had hives nearly everyday for the last week. It took a while for me to figure out that no, the cats don't have fleas, I have not been bitten by 100 mosquitoes, and there are no spiders in my bed. It began slowly, but by Saturday morning I woke up covered head to toe with my skin itching so badly it hurt. I got to work early because I knew there was Benadryl there. I spent the day drugged out, there is a good reason you aren't supposed to take it during the day. I'm glad my shift was 12 hours long, because I wouldn't have been safe to drive! I found it really hard to follow a conversation, it seemed everyone was talking for entirely too long and it was tough to pretend that I was able to follow along.

Yesterday, the hives were gone. But when I was heading to bed, I realized that I was itching again. Sure enough, the hives were back. So off I went to the pharmacy. This is very frustrating, I have never had a reaction like this before. I have gone through all of the usual suspects- laundry soap, shampoo, conditioner. I have now narrowed it down to a body wash, coconut or blueberries. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is something on the blueberries. I've certainly eaten a lot of them when they are in season, but I don't think I've ever bought the imported ones. Maybe a pesticide??

UPDATE: oh crappity crap. Turns out blueberries are on the dirty dozen list. The list of the most highly contaminated foods list. They contain up to 52 chemicals on them and their skin is thin enough that the chemicals get into the fruit and can't be washed off. After reading that, the blueberries are going into the garbage. 52 chemicals? I probably just gave myself cancer.

I'm sweet enough

Well it's been more than a week since I gave up sugar. Obviously it's impossible to not eat sugar at all. So maybe it's more accurate to say that I have cut out refined sugar. My co-workers thought I was setting myself up to fail by being too strict. It's not like I'm cutting out fruit because it has sugar in it. I'm just cutting out junk. I actually gave up sugary crap once before and felt much better for it.

So far things have been okay. It was a tough work week, with lots of adrenaline rushes, no time to eat and a heck of a lot of police action- so I pretty much couldn't have chosen a worst week to quit chocolate and sugar. But I did really well. I'm half way through the second week and feeling strong! I learned something too. The more sugar you eat, the less sensitive you become to the sweetness. I had a slip and made myself a hot chocolate last night, but I couldn't even drink it! It seemed so sickly sweet that I didn't want it. Before nothing was too sweet for me.

I also said goodbye to the pump of vanilla flavouring in my soy americanos at Starbucks. Shannon told me it could be done. She was right! At home, there is no more agave or honey in my morning coffee either. I don't notice that big of a change in taste. Previously when a barrista skipped the vanilla flavouring (sugar) I could hardly drink it.

The only disappointment: I had sort of expected my mood/energy level to remain constant throughout the day. I still have lows, and just don't have the skyrocketing highs. Oh well, I'm better off.

Lunch Box

Okay I admit it. I'm blogging up a storm because I'm avoiding something I don't want to do. I had planned to go the pool today and swim laps but.... I don't want to get in my bathing suit. Gah! It's raining so I'm not going for a walk along the boardwalk. I'll go use the depressing bunker/gym later today. Picture it: a small windowless cement room with a 7 foot ceiling crammed with exercise equipment. The ceiling is already low, but for some reason they added a huge ceiling fan in the middle. Even I have to duck going under it. Clausterphobics couldn't hack it in there.

Wait, this post is about my lunchbox. I'm oh so in love. I bought the above lunchbox minus the bag and water bottle. Its actually fun to pack my lunch. Although I can cook at work and eat anything I want out of the pantry, I don't. It's a Celiac's worst nightmare. The cross contamination is everywhere! The kitchen counters are butcher block; wood absorbs gluten and passes it on even after bleaching. Communal living means too many hands are touching the food. Food prep is done with gloves and following food safe, but those precautions aren't nearly enough to keep me gluten-safe. Prison food is high carb, so it's not surprising that my clients continue to eat carbs afterwards. I can put tofu in the fridge without putting my name on it and know with absolute certainty that no one will ever touch it. My food preferences are nothing like my clients or even most of my co-workers who seem to survive on Mr. Noodles and Wonderbread!

Unfortunately my lunch bag got contaminated with roast beef blood, so I was in the market for a new lunch bag. Luckily I remembered my old favorite blog "Vegan Lunchbox!" The mom who wrote it has mostly moved on the other ventures, but she used to pack her son's lunch in these lunchboxes and post pictures of his lunch. It was genius! She was creative and got her son to eat so healthy because his lunch looked good. Since the Canadian dollar was almost at par, and Vegan Lunchbox had a discount code, I ordered one for myself! Everyone who sees it comments on it. If you are interested, I have a link to her blog on the right. On her site she has a link to the company that makes the lunchboxes Laptop Lunchbox, be sure to use the discount code!

Withdrawl

At work I talk a lot about drugs. I'm not a drug and alcohol counsellor, but helping clients work through their addiction and encouraging them to stay clean is a big part of the job. Talking about recovery is a big part of the process. Too often the clients that don't talk about staying clean are already using. I'm always amazed to hear what people can overcome and see how much courage it takes to change. It's always easiest to stay they same, challenging ourselves to do something new can be tough. How can you live a clean lifestyle if you've never lived it, and commonly you're parents didn't either. Recently at work we were talking about how treatment centres ration sugar and serve decaf coffee. It's not uncommon for addicts to create a pseudo-high by getting a sugar and caffeine buzz. This got me thinking- I'm admittedly a chocoholic, but I think that I'm really a sugar junkie. A sell my soul for Swedish berries kind of girl. I love the zing I feel after eating something sugary. It's a sure-fire pick me up, but the crash is depressingly spectacular.

So I decided that if my clients can kick a 20 year crack addiction, I can kick sugar. Currently at day 3. There is no chocolate in my house, and I know this. For some reason I keep mindlessly looking in my secret chocolate hiding place. The hiding place was taught to me by my Nana. Her theory was if chocolate is kept in the freezer it will have to thaw before it can be eaten, and by that point, the craving will have passed. This theory was inherently flawed, I have no problems eating frozen solid chocolate!

The tricky part is the places that sugary treats hide, like cereal. Haven't we all learned that breakfast during the work week consists of cereal? The rest of the meals don't have such monotony for me, so why be boring with breakfast? (slap chop?) The best part is that I have a jumbo bag of gluten free corn pops in my cupboard, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with those. Although yummy, they don't satisfy for very long. I knew that I needed to find breakfast alternatives so I went off to my local Choices. $80 later I had one bag of groceries. sigh.... Groceries is one area I allow myself to not budget- gluten free vegetarianism isn't cheap. But even for me this seemed a shocking price. I picked up some Agave. It's a natural sweetener, sweeter than sugar so you use less and in theory doesn't give a sugar zing. At 3 times the price of honey, it will be used sparingly. I also picked up some Lara Bars. They are naturally sweet date bars. The ingredients are so simple dates, peanuts, salt- that's it, but so yummy. So I'll feed the sugar cravings with more natural sugars as they have a lower GI (glycemic index) and therefore don't affect blood sugar like sugar/corn syrup/high-fructose does.

I also thought I could fill the cravings buy drinking more tea. I really like tea, but tend to only drink it at home in the fall and winter. I probably have 15 types of tea on hand right now, obviously I must like it. I wonder why I only have 2 types of coffee although I drink it much more frequently? I picked up a extra spicy chai tea to add to the collection. I have a vague plan of switching to decaf coffee and drinking tea instead. Tea makes me feel good, and I secretly think tea drinkers are cooler than coffee whores.

Wish me luck. If you see me licking bags of sugar in the local Safeway then you know I've failed.

One of those days

Sometimes I really get sick of helping people.

I like it even less when I can't help someone because they aren't ready or because they're living in denial.

My ears are shut off, I don't want to hear anymore.

I'm not solving any more problems right now. If I had a closed sign, it would be posted.

I don't want to hear about you. I am surrounded by people who talk about themselves.

Okay, my rant is over. I feel better, tomorrow I'll be back to optimistic Hilary who has nothing but time to listen.

We're all thinking the same thing

Hottie of the Game

Well! I wasn't sure if the Canucks would have enough heat to make it through one more game. Thank goodness they did, because hiding in the ranks was this hot francophone! Steve Bernier. I'm not sure if he's a bad boy like O'Brien is, (Google O'Brien, he's been getting into lots of trouble in Vancity) but he made the cut tonight. Fingers crossed for game 6!

Holy Hot Damn

Hottie of the game. Shane O'Brien. Did he play tonight? Why watch the game after finding this picture? Let's be honest, he should stop wearing shirts immediately. This post is totally for Sarah who claims she won't watch hockey until they play shirtless. A brilliant suggestion.

Return of the Hottie

Well given the Canucks' latest performance, we need a change. Shave your playoff beard, change your lucky undies and wash your socks. I think you should all ask yourselves what you can do to turn things around. My part is to bring back the hottie of the game. Oh Kevin.... When you google him, the second most often sought after info is if he is married. So how could I not pick Kevin Bieksa as the hottie of the game?

Yes.

I just realized that May 1st marks two years being gluten-free! It feels like longer, not because I feel punished, but because I've lived so much more in the last 2 years. Being sick every day for a decade really hampered me. In truth, it almost killed me. My new co-workers will sometimes make comments about how I'm missing out, or how they feel sorry for me. I don't miss gluten! I have had nightmares that I accidentally eat gluten. Who would miss the stuff that nightmares are made of?

I am steadily reading Gluten-Free Girl's book, savouring every word. She is a genius and totally inspirational. I could go on and on about her. But I'll end with her most important lesson: we aren't saying "no" to gluten, but saying "yes" to life. So why should anyone feel sorry for us gluten-free girls?

Ecrap?

I was suppose to have cancelled my cable tv once the olympics were over. I don't watch very much TV, but I do watch movies and tv off of the internet. I thought I would connect my laptop to my TV so I could watch on a bigger screen. I thought it would be as easy as connecting the two. Turns out it's not. I need a converter and like 3 cables. I couldn't find a converter locally, good thing I love internet shopping! I finally found one on Ebay, or course the seller is in Hong Kong. There is probably a 50% chance that its not a total piece of crap. This is what I bought:

There was a seller in the USA that was selling a very similar one for $50 plus shipping. Too much. This one was $19 including shipping. Fingers crossed....

Also, look to the right. All of the blogs I follow have been added to my links section. Ch-ch-check em out!

New Gadgets!

Ever since Nunavut Newbie tracked me down through her stat counter, I started thinking that I really have fallen behind in blogging gadgets (features). So I did a bit of searching. You don't even want to know the amount of info the new stat counter gives me. It'll probably tell me what colour your socks are. But don't let that deter you from stopping by!

I have also added a facebook and twitter link. Say you see something you like, and want to share it? Well just click on the social networking button you prefer. I'm not on twitter, so if you do tweet about me, I'd probably never know. (Although I would be very flattered!)

My favorite gadget is the new "Followers" section. I'm not totally certain what it does, but I hope that if you become a follower of my blog, it will notify you when I update. Please add yourself and let me know how it works.

My obsession with all things north continues. I find Nunavut blogs really interesting, but I have no interest in moving there. Nunavut Newbie's latest post shows a 12 pack of coke cans for $59! Can you imagine? Although the wages are higher than the rest of Canada, I would blow all of my money online shopping for gluten-free food.

Murphy's Law?

So why is it just when I commit myself to working at a job, the job I had been hoping for starts calling? Better yet, why do they have to call me when I'm sitting in a room with my boss? Awkward! It was so obvious that the phone call was for a job.

Turns out the dream job was only hiring for casual employees and didn't like my availability. No interview. Had my boss not been in the room, I might have tried to argue that I could easily work both jobs. They don't know what kind of workaholic I am. When I got off the phone, I fessed up to having put my resume in a year ago and it was my dream job at the time. I didn't want her to think that I'm actively looking for work (2 weeks into the job). I do plan on re-submitting my resume in a couple weeks. I don't want them to forget about me when they have full-time positions, it's a better paying gig. Guess I'm starting to look pretty good on paper...


What else? Well, this week I have said adieu to the bus (for a while). I'm driving in my new (to me) car. I have to admit I don't like driving in rush hour traffic. Not because of the slow moving traffic, but because there is so much happening. It's so much easier to drive around on empty streets! I also suck really bad at parking. Parallel? Tight spot? Forget it. I did manage to get into my work parking spot on the first try two days in a row! This is an amazing feat considering it's a cramped lot with angle parking that I have to back into. Sooner or later I'll get used to it, right? Sometimes, I'd rather take the bus though.

One of these days I'll upload pictures, stay tuned.

moments of brilliance

I think I need to credit Heidi Fleiss with this particular moment of brilliance. No I'm not planning on being a cracked out hollywood madam. Heidi now owns a high end laundromat.

Although my building has laundry, there are a lot of restrictions. One of the most inconveinient is that I cannot wash blankets or other bulky items. The landlady suggests we use the local laundromat. I did a walk-by and was horrified. Not only did I find the place dirty and gross looking, but the clientelle made me think that I would probably end up coming home with bed bugs. I wouldn't want to wait around in such a place, but I also wouldn't want to leave my belongings there. So my alternative has been to bring dirty laundry with me when I visit people. I'm sure people really like to see me coming. 3 blankets, 2 bathmats and 2 cat beds in tow.

Last night I watched a bit of Celebrity Rehab which showed Heidi Fleiss's laundromat. It was really nice looking with new flashy washers and dryers. This got me thinking. I think that I should open a high-end laundromat with free wi-fi, a barista offering lattes. Or what if while your clothes spun in the dryer, you could get a pedicure? Not only would the grubbies not be interested in these services, but it would make doing laundry more enjoyable. Put in a high-end neighbourhood, I could charge higher prices, in no time I'd be a milionare!

~ betcha this post is going to bring some interesting traffic to my site. Sorry, this blog has nothing to do with madams, brothels, celebrities or rehab. Please move along. okay time for another graveyard shift.....

thanks!

on the go blogging as I test out my sister's new mac laptop. Nice, but I'm not sure if I want to invest in a fancy new laptop yet.

I also wanted to acknowledge all the interest in the last little bit (since I remembered that I had a blog.) The hit meter has gone through the roof lately from zero to four hits! So I thought I would commit to posting more frequently, okay well...maybe. stand by

Not up

Well, I'm sure glad to see that my core readership stayed with me. For a long while I was working 6-7 days a week at two jobs. It didn't leave for much of a life that was worth blogging about. I have changed my schedule around so I fit 6 working days into 5 days. How? Well, I got a promotion!

Of course just as I made the major decision to look for work up north, that's when I got a job that will keep me here for a while. So, no more graveyard shifts for me. Just as well, since it's easy to sleep in the winter when it's so dark and dreary. I think it would have been a whole other challenge to sleep during the mid-day heat of the summer. I know you all got excited about me living a Northern Exposure-esque life. But I haven't given up on that idea. At this point, my plan is to give this job another 6 months or so. It doesn't pay well enough for me to commit to them long term. In that space of time, a new union contract will come in. My hope is the federal government will stop paying Newfie wages and start paying Vancity wages. Unlikely, since it is the stupid Harper government.

Now that I have accepted the job, I'm sure the dream northern job will inevitably be posted.

Up

Sometimes a blogging gal just wants to test the dedication of her reading audience. I mean, can you really call yourself a true fan of my blog if more than a week goes by before you notice this amazing update??? Go ahead and look down at the bottom to see when I posted this. I'll wait.

What have I been doing in the mean time? Good question. Changing jobs, breaking rules, failed real estate endeavours of dilapidated properties, cheering everything Canadian, getting in trouble for breaking rules. Currently I'm waiting patiently for an announcement from my boss as to whether or not I will be working the day shift rather than graveyards. In the meantime, I began to reevaluate if financially, it would be better to move out of the Vancity area. You see, the government has proposed changes for first-time home owners. Gone are the 5% down days, thank you sub-prime lenders. The proposed changes would require first-timers to put down a ridiculous 20%. Given that the average price of a modest house is $500 000, that's a $100 000 down payment. I can't foresee saving that kind of cash.

So I started looking for jobs farther away again. My lease is coming up, so why not? I found a great job that pays a ton in the Northwest Territories. In a very small town of 1200 people. I have spent hours reading blogs to learn more about this town. I wondered if a single, vegetarian, gluten-free girl could make it in such isolation. I thought I might be okay as I am adept at the art of internet shopping. I was all set to apply but then I realized that in a small town, I would be faced everyday with people whose lives I may have changed in dramatic ways. Example, what if I did a house visit and wrote a report stating that a kid should be removed from the house. I would see those parents around town, with only 1 grocery store in town, it would be impossible to avoid. I think in time, I would feel very alone.

So I decided to not apply for this position, but apply for a similar position in a larger town. It would be an amazing experience and good for my career. I have a little dream that I will start a new blog, about my northern adventures. In my mind the experience will be like Northern Exposure. I'm working on the blog title. There are some amazing NWT blogs out there. Right now I'm reading Townie Bastard's blog. A newfie political journalist (who used to write the Clarenville Packet!!!) who moved to Nunavut. (Theresa, insert Micah joke here.) www.towniebastard.blogspot.com It's a little heavy on the Newfie politics, but still really good.

And my other favorite is a written by a musician/bartender and his partner who moved to Nunavut from Ontario. http://jordanandsteph.blogspot.com/ They are still in their early days, and have just discovered that curling is cool. Their biggest tip? Be social, don't hunker down just because it's -45 degrees.

And possibly the best blog I have ever seen http://newnavut.blogspot.com/. She chronicled her journey from the start. Sort of a "how-to" for moving to the arctic. The thing she wishes she packed more of? kitty litter! Who would have thunk? What coat to buy? She's got the answer.

Okay, so maybe you aren't so obsessed with the idea as I am. I have been thinking about doing this for the last 3 years. Believe me, these graveyard shifts give me the opportunity to do a lot of internet reading. But you never know, maybe you'll be hoping on a "First Air" flight to visit me one day. So read up.

update