It's not me, it's you

I recently learned that someone really really dislikes me. I don't really care very much, I won't lose sleep wondering why and how I can win them over. This person just isn't important to me and I probably wouldn't be very successful at convincing them of my awesomeness anyways. I sort of wonder how long ago this hatred started brewing, and why someone even bothered to build-up that much anamosity towards me. Let's be honest, what's not to love about me? It seems like a waste of time to hate someone and for them not even to know it.

This is a lesson I learned a long time ago. I was really angry at someone, and would lay in bed at night losing sleep thinking about how much I wanted bad things to happen to her. This went on for months (on and off). One day I saw her and she was completely oblivious to my hatred of her. I realized that she hadn't lost a minute of sleep wondering how to win me back as a friend. In fact, she hadn't even got the memo that we weren't friends anymore. All that time wasted envisoning tragedies befalling her were a complete waste of time. The only one punished was me! Maybe if I had let her know right from the start, she could have shared in the misery. Like a Carlton card that reads "Just a note to let you know, My hatred of you continues to grow".

I don't carry that anger anymore, it felt pretty pointless. But I do kind of feel bad for the person carrying around so much hate for me. I never felt good about myself when I was hating on my ex-friend, and I can't imagine my hater is very happy either. And so I wish for my hater that one day they can let the anger go because it's not hurting me. I even wish my hater good things.