Cravings

How to deal with food cravings? 

Four weeks into mostly raw vegan eating I certainly don't have all the answers, and I'm not perfect.  This morning I had pancakes for breakfast.  I don't feel guilty after all they were made of rice flour, and almond milk not butter and wheat.  I think it's much more realistic to eat something cooked every once in a while, and not think so rigidly about how I want to eat. 

The first week I was craving chocolate, bread (gluten-free), cheese and pop.  I tried to focus on why I was craving these things:

• I think I was craving chocolate because I wanted the instant pick-me-up.  I think it was a bit of an after dinner habit too.  When I was done eating, I wanted something sweet so badly.  I substituted really sweet fruits, usually a gala apple after dinner usually takes care of it.  Or carrot, apple, orange, ginger juice.  Such a sweet treat.  So yummy, my step-mom had a sip and went out and bought a juicer!  It's that good.
• Bread.  I swear I'm a carb addict.  When I first became a vegetarian, all that meant was that I stopped eating meat and ate more bread.  Enter celiac disease and I was forced to quit bread.  I mourned the loss, but after a while, I didn't miss bread very much.  And then I found the awesomist gluten-free bread.  Like a true addict, just one taste and I was hooked.  I'm not sure why, maybe because it makes me feel full?  I remember reading signs in the park that said do not feed the ducks bread because it fills them up, but they get fewer nutrients and don't have enough fat on them to survive the winter.  Empty calories.  I don't need to eat to bread, I want to.  I've pretty much white knuckled my way through these cravings.  When it's been ready bad, I eat air popped popcorn.
• Cheese.  I thought when I was craving cheese it was because I needed calcium.  Cheese isn't a great source of calcium at all.  It is however, super high in calories and fat.  Usually, this craving went with a bread craving.  omg, the grilled cheese sandwich craving was ridiculous.  Every single day for at least a week.  When the cravings were bad, I ate almonds or peanut butter.  I have eaten so much peanut butter!  Before a container would last be over a year.  Not anymore.  When I was counting calories, I wouldn't eat it at all.  But now that my diet is so super low fat, I can afford the calories.  My favorite snack is celery, peanut butter and raisins.  Another favorite is fresh coconut, I haven't had fresh coconut in 10 years.  So good!
• Pop.  Not just any pop, coke.  Sweet bubbly calories.  This has been the easiest craving of all to beat.  The juice was the cure.  I look forward to drinking green juice so much!  The flavours are so intense, pop doesn't even compare.   

I think my taste buds have changed.  Maybe they forget what so much sugar tastes like?  Somewhere around the 2 week mark, I broke and ate a chocolate bar.  But I only took a few bites and threw it in the garbage, it was so sweet it made me sick.  Before there was nothing that was too sweet for me.  I think it's not the foods that we crave, it's the way we feel when we eat them.  But it's a roller coaster ride!  Feeling so low, and then zing! I feel great, and then so low again.  I feel more even now.   

Where to next?

I've been asking myself this a lot lately. 


In three months time I will be moving to .... somewhere.  I had planned to put in a transfer to the city, but now I'm starting to think this would be a bad idea.  The cost of rent has increased about $100 in the last year since I moved away.  When I do the math, this only makes sense to do if I don't have a car.  Since I'm buying a car this week, it might not make sense for me to sell it so soon.  I think I might be putting myself in a worse financial position with the cost of living in Vancity.  So what are my other options?  Coquitlam.  A couple years from now, the skytrain will be running out there.  But then I think of Miss New Wave by Matt Good, and he makes Coquitlam sound pretty depressing.  Or Burnaby or Surrey or New West, are options too.  It would be much easier to get together with friends than it is now.  Something I am definitely looking forward to.

In three months I will have some say in where I get placed, but not a lot of choice.  But in six months time, I can put in a transfer for anywhere.   So where to?   


I'm sort of playing with the idea of making a big change.  I've been hmmming and hawwwwing about requesting a placement in the Nelson office.  Could be awesome!  The more I get into the raw vegan thing, the more I think it would be great to live in a community where there are raw vegan restaurants.  This is why I wanted to move to Vancouver, but guess what's in Nelson?  A raw vegan deli and a juice bar!  Along with a bunch of health food stores and a great farmers market.  Hmmm, can't you totally see me living there? 

Other places I considered but are off the list? Masset- I would love to visit, but probably not live there.  Victoria- maybe in 5 years.  I was really hoping that there would be an office in Whistler or Pemberton.  No luck.

What do you think?  Nelson or bust?

How to divorce chocolate

Yes it's true, I quit eating chocolate.  It's a bit like quitting smoking or crack.  Chocolate is absolutely addictive, it makes us feel good, and it is so darn delicious.  This is what I did:

Step 1: I made my house a no-chocolate zone. 

Step 2: you are going to have cravings so bad that you will want to drive to the gas station at 3am and you won't even care about the mascara that is half-way down your face and the strange looks you will get.  You need to prepare for this.

                    Step 2 part A: Find a non-sugar, non-junk food substitute that you like.

Step 3: eat chocolate substitute and wait 5 minutes.  The craving will be gone.

Step 4: never leave home without a sweet substitute in your purse.  It's easy to fall back on inhaling an Oh Henry bar if you have no other options. 

Step 5: Do not ever walk down the snack aisle.  For any reason. Ever.

After about 1 week, it's not so bad.  My sweet options are: 

1. fresh juice: 1 apple. 1 orange, 2-3 carrots, and sometimes ginger.  It is deliciously sweet, and   feels like a treat.  It quenches the sugar craving, put is packed with vitamin A, C, K, Omega 3 and 6 and some protein too!
2. Tamarind.  It's sweet, and kinda fussy to eat.  You need to get over the fact that it looks like dog poo, and that pulling the fibrous parts is strangely like de-boning an alien.  It's tastes a bit like a fig or a date, and has big seeds in the middle. It will also satisfy the need for sweet, but has a ton of magnesium, potassium, thiamine, niacin and iron

3.  Lara bars.  Gluten free, simple ingredients.  The ingredients for this one are dates, peanuts and salt. That's it.  There a bunch of different flavours, most are good.  At about $2/bar, they aren't cheap, but you can buy a 12 pack at costco and  save a bit.  Perfect for the purse.

                 4. Air popped popcorn very lightly drizzled with olive oil and a generous sprinkle of garlic powder.

                 5. If all else fails, make healthy muffins.  I made pumpkin muffins using 1/2 cup of pumpkin puree and 1.5 cups of pulp from my juicer.  Super high fiber, but also sweet enough to make you think you are eating a treat.  

I didn't deprive myself of sweet things, I just changed what I ate.  After the first week or so, I didn't have the chocolate cravings anymore and I didn't need to eat the chocolate substitutes either.  

Well anywhoo...

... enough of the contemplating the fragility of my life. 

So I thought I would explain the raw vegan thing.  I was counting calories for about the last 6 months, eating roughly 1200 calories.  This number would go up if I also exercised.  I found that it was really hard to stay under my calorie goal, usually cheese or bread would be my undoing.  For me, the more I eat cheese, the more I wanted it.  A spread of cheese, crackers and pickles or antipasto could quickly gobble up half of my calories for the day.  And then what?  I'm starving.  Then I read about a vegan cheese that was actually good.  When I first went gluten-free, I had trouble with dairy, and tried some pretty nasty cheese substitutes.  If you want to stop the dairy cravings, try Daiya ( http://www.daiyafoods.com/ ).  I can say now that I have kicked my addiction to cheese!  I never even think about eating it.  For me, cheese was what was holding me back from being vegan.  But now it's goodbye cheese and hello raw vegan! 


Why?  Well, I hate counting calories, and I didn't see much in the way of results anyways.  But if I eat just fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, I don't have to count calories.  I didn't really understand this at first.  I thought veggies wouldn't fill you up.  I watched a ton of documentaries and did a bunch of learning.  What happens when you eat breads, meat and fats (like cheese) is that you feel full and satisfied, but you don't get a lot of nutrients (like vitamins and minerals) so you feel hungry again.  Ever had a day where you ate a bag of chips (1000's of calories) but you were hungry later on even though you are more than enough calories?  This is why!  Your body wants nutrients, not calories.

 I talked a little about how I made some changes.  I decided that I could eat healthier, and I didn't want to die young or be uncomfortable in my skin because of the choices I made today.  In the last 2 months, I have kicked, dairy, chocolate, pop and sugar to the curb.  I didn't think I could ever stop eating sugar or chocolate.  I think I ate a piece (or 10) of chocolate everyday.  Not anymore!  I kicked chocolate and pop once before, but it's a slippery slope and before I knew it, I was hooked again. 

Why raw? because the the fruits and veg are more nutrient dense, at least half of the nutrients are lost when they are cooked, and the protein building blocks are destroyed.  So I'm better off to eat everything raw, than cooked. 


The main thing I noticed since making the switch is that I feel great!  I eat fruit and cereal (not raw) and 1 or 2 coffees in the morning, then I have nuts and a big green juice for snack, a vegan raw protein drink and mixed veggies at lunch, and then for dinner a salad or hummus and veggies.  That's it.  Doesn't sound like a lot, but it's so packed full of vitamins and minerals that I don't feel like I need more.  I'm not hungry.  The green juice is high in iron and protein, and I exceed the daily recommended intake of both every day.  About once a week I eat rice or beans, so I'm not 100% raw.  I think for me this is much more sustainable than calorie counting and I can actually see the results.  (hello skinny jeans!) As for eating out, I usually just eat a salad (because of the gluten) so that doesn't change.    

Since the car accident, I've been drinking parsley, kale, lemon, ginger, celery, cucumber and apple juice.  Parsley is super anti-inflammatory and is more protein dense than beef.  Did you know that?  I sure didn't.  I love this site http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/vegetables-and-vegetable-products/2513/2 .  It makes it easier to see that food isn't just about calories. 

I've been getting lots of ideas from this youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/daradubinet#p/u/97/_Lg0clKiaqU 

2011Nov18 1:25pm

Forgive me, I'm blogging in bed and I'm really tired. This may all come out a gobbely gook, but I've been thinking all day about something and I need to write it down so I'll remember it.

If you know me in real life, you know that on Friday afternoon I was in a fairly bad car accident. A guy pulled out of a drive thru to take a left across two lanes of traffic in the middle of the block. The witnesses said a car in the right lane waved him into the street. I dunno. I didn't see that, all I saw was silver in front of me. I always thought that in moments like that, time would move slowly, and I would be filled with lots of thoughts. Like "0kay, I'm going to die now". That didn't happen. I just remember suddenly I was breaking, and then the impact happened so quickly I didn't know what had happened. And it really fucking hurt. Now the mind twist for me is, did I not have the deep thoughts because it wasn't my time, or we just don't have those moments of accepting our fates. For whatever reason, I had been thinking a lot about my mom last week and I wondered if she ever felt okay with dying. I dunno. I'd been thinking a lot that if I knew that I would only live 10 years more, what would I do differently today. So I made some changes. And then I got in this accident. Maybe I shouldn't assume I even get ten years.

Then I start thinking about what it all means. It was a regular day, where I did something I don't normally do. I went out on my lunch break to buy my step-mom a birthday present. Why did I do that? Why did this happen? I've been watching these youtube videos of people telling their stories of how being raw vegan has change their lives. One of the guys was in a car accident and it seemed to me that he was healing faster because he was eating healthy. I feel like I'm healing quickly. Is this supposed to be showing me I'm on the right track? There was a moment when I was sitting in my car waiting for the ambulance that I thought, this could be it. I could be in pain for the rest of my life. I sat there thinking do I have a head injury? Did my chest hit the steering wheel? I remember looking down at my legs because they hurt so bad, I thought I should check if there were there. I remember there was a blond woman sitting in a minivan across the street in a parking lot. We made eye contact for a second. The look of shock and horror on her face made me think, wow, this must be bad. But I feel like I'll be ok.

I keep getting well meaning advice to lawyer-up. I don't want to do that. For one because I will not be claiming physical injuries that will affect me forever, and two because I think it will bring me bad energy. Maybe it's naive to think that it will all work out and the insurance company will treat me fairly. I so totally believe that you get back what you put in. I don't want my life to be about "my claim." I have had so many clients over the years where they were living their lives waiting for their claim. They were some of the most toxic people I have ever met. Things usually work out. In my most stressed out moments in life, when things seemed impossible and I couldn't see how things could possibly work out, they did. So I'm putting my intention out there: I will heal from this, and it will all work out. Maybe me getting into a car accident doesn't mean anything, but I can still choose if I let it shape my life.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Maybe it was just a car accident. It's been really hard to shake it off.

My only piece of actual art

A long time ago I blogged about a print I found at my local Value Village. I spotted it from about 10 feet away, and knew exactly what I was looking at. Inuit art!!! There was an old guy in my way flipping through the paintings. I hovered for a few minutes waiting for him to leave so I could snatch it. I was hoping so hard that he wouldn't take it. He probably left because I was making him feel uncomfortable with my intent staring!

I never got around to taking a picture of it. Well here it is. It's not signed, so I'm not really sure who it's by. I did a bit of researching online at the National Gallery of Canada and found an artist whose work is very very similar. I wasn't able to find the same print on Google, but she drew her figures exactly like this in the first 20 years of career (late 1950's and early 60's). Her name was Jessie Oonark, she lived a pretty traditional Inuit life in Baker Lake and didn't become an artist until later in her life. She had a pretty short career, by 1979 she had a surgery that took away her the use of her hands. I love this print. I like the simplicity and how it shows her everyday life (she lived on the land).