Worrywart

I'm not too sure how this happened.  But... Hi my name is Hilary and I am a worrywart. I don't think I've always been a worrier.  It just happened.  Someone recently pointed it out to me, and I argued how ridiculous it was because that was not me.  ....And then they proved me wrong.  As I was explaining out what I believed were logical thoughts I had while in a situation, I realized, "oh crap, I really am a worrier."  Now that it's been pointed out to me, it's everywhere!  It's like all of a sudden, I see Waldo, and now I can't stop being able to see him.  It's amazing that I really could not see this in me at all.  Did you know I am a worrier?  Why didn't you tell me?


Eg.  Today I was to drive out after work to the Wack.  I saw that they were calling for thunder and lightening and rain.  I hate driving in heavy rain.  So for like 2 hours at work I worried about it.  Should I cancel?  Should I risk it?  But I went, and while there the skies opened up, thunder storm!  I immediately thought: Oh No! I'm going to have to drive home in this, it's going to be dangerous, I could get in a car accident, etc etc.  I thought about maybe sleeping over if the rain didn't stop, or maybe driving the back road home.  I waited for my take-out dinner to be ready and by then the storm had passed.  So I drove home.  Hardly any traffic, the roads were wet, but fine, and not a single drop of rain fell.  I spent about 4 hours thinking about what might happen, but didn't happen at all.  All that energy spent on worrying, and it was all for nothing. 


So that's the way I think all the freakn time.  So annoying.   


Awareness is the first step to making a change, right?  This is one of the things I'm working on in this: The Best Year Ever.  This is turning into a blog series, things I'm doing to make this the best year ever.  So if you're out and about with me, and I'm doing this, ask me why are you worrying? 

Dentists

For a good chunk of the last ten years I haven't had any dental coverage.  I couldn't afford the dental visits, so I didn't go.  I hated the dentist, so I wasn't too worried about it.  A year and half ago, I got dental coverage, and started to slowly catch up on all the dental work that was overdue.  My coverage wasn't great, so I had to spread out my visits. 


This was my first experience of not feeling pain at the dentist.  I'm not sure what the deal is, but growing up, I felt every second of the dental drill when I got fillings.  I seriously thought that was normal.  I was so happy when I switched to a new dentist, I didn't feel anything!  But then I switched jobs, and didn't get dental coverage for the first 6 months.  Now I live too far away from that magical dentist- she moved back to Montreal :(


It took me a couple months to find another dentist here.  I had a couple of criteria.  Must have TV's in the ceiling and must do zoom whitening.  Tv's in the ceiling, because I want to watch TV with the volume up, so I'm distracted.  My childhood dentist had wood paneling, a bad sailboat painting on the wall and Kiss FM playing on the radio.  I have had way too much dental work done while listening to the BeeGee's and ABBA.  I am not a fan.  The deal I made with myself was that I would reward myself with zoom whitening after all my required dental work was done. 


I found a great dentist that met all of my criteria and didn't hurt at all.  Plus last time I was there, he gave me a review of the movie review of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.  Added bonus, my coverage is now really great, most things are covered 100%.  So strange to not owe anything!  I've had everything done that needed to be done, except getting 2 wisdom teeth pulled.  I went for a consult last week.  The dentist said I would be knocked out, and only 2 need to come out.  What a relief.  But I'm still totally dreading it.  Since I don't feel any pain at the dentist, it's not so bad being there.  Now I'm taking advantage of the great dental coverage by having my old fillings removed and replaced with white fillings (no mercury).   Unfortunately, I will still have a few silver ones at the very back.


I really wish I'd known way back when that trips to the dentist don't have to be painful.  Maybe I would feel differently about the BeeGee's and ABBA today.

New skinny clothes

So!  I am currently wearing my "skinny clothes."  Basically, these are just the smallest clothes I own from when I was a bit thinner.  Or they are clothes that I bought, only to find that they were too small, and the skinny mirrors at the store lied to me.  Very exciting, but also a bit of a pain in the ass.  Currently, the clothes I wore last summer fall off (literally).  The clothes that were too small last summer are bordering on too loose to wear anymore.  I was starting to not be able to see the weight loss anymore, because I was just used to it.  It was a nice to see a major difference when I switched over to my summer clothes.


Interestingly, back when I was wearing my skinny jeans they were too small for me.  I had an ugly muffin top situation going on.  Not anymore!  They fit better now, than they did back then.  So I'm actually smaller now, which means this is the smallest I've been since some time in grade 8 or 9.  Is that right?  Too bad I don't have any clothes from that time to be sure, but I'm pretty sure it's true.  I do have a dress that I wore when I was 11 or 12.  I'm not too sure that it'll fit, but I'll see if I can remember which box it is in and try it on.  Pictures of course! 


I don't own a scale, so I have been more or less measuring weight loss by how clothes were fitting. This started to become a less useful measure now that everything is too big. I'm too cheap to buy clothes that I know won't fit me when I could really use clothes that do fit.  So I asked Sarah to bring me some of her clothes that are too big for her.  I tried them on, all of them are too small.  Normally I might have been gutted, but I'm actually pretty happy about it.  I now have new skinny clothes.  Yea!  I'll let you know when they do fit

El Camino del Ray

Sometimes youtube gives me the best video suggestions.  This is one of them (I facebooked this a few days ago).  Video of a crazy 110 year old dilapidated platform that runs 700 feet above a canyon in Spain.  Since this video was made, the government has since closed the trail down after a tourist died, but I hear that you can still risk it.  I also read they are improving the platform so it can be reopened. 

I'm pretty sure the person that filmed this had a death wish.  No safety gear at all.  Every other video I've seen people were geared up for rock climbing.  The video also happens to have the perfect music background.  I think I'd like to check this place out once they've fixed a few things. You'll see what I mean.