Back into the fire

Well there were no campfires allowed due to the dryness of late summer. But camping was good nonetheless. Little did I know that the campsite was 5000 feet about sea level. It was very very cold. All I packed was tank-tops and shorts. I really needed to pack the winter survival gear! I spent one night shivering, and the next two I spent crammed into a tiny cabin.

Lots of wildlife was seen: moose, chipmunks, marmots, and rabbits. Although there were lots of fish jumping, no one caught any fish. My uncle chose to sleep in the back of his truck at the top of the road instead of in the cabin. In the middle of the night he felt something big bump against the side of the truck hard enough to wake him. After the second time, he opened the tailgail and shone his flashlight out to the left and to the right. He saw nothing and so went back to sleep. The truck was bumped around again after that. He decided that whatever it was probably couldn't get him in the truck and it was better to stay in the truck than wander around in the pitch black. Whatever it was very big.

In the morning he awoke to see that he was surrounded by 30 cows sleeping around his truck. The cows had been grazing in the night and were sticking their heads under the truck to get grass and while doing so were pushing the truck around! What a relief, since the most logical explanation was that a bear was trying to get in the truck.

But now I'm back to the craziness that is work. Friday the thirteenth. I saw the darkside, and it was scary as hell.

On Vacation

Leaving Rut-ville behind.

Welcome to Rut-ville!

Okay I admit it. I'm unhappy.


I feel like I'm in a massive rut with no easy way out. I tend to go through these cycles of contentment and then suddenly I'm in a rut. Once in a rut, I tend to make pretty big drastic decisions. What do these include?

1. Spending 9 months travelling across Canada.
2. Moving x 3
3. Applying for jobs in Iqaluit, Prince George, Nelson
4. Going back to school x 3
5. Changing jobs or careers x 2
6. Learning to drive 13 years late
7. Buying a car
8. Getting a cat x 2
9. Walking away from a bad friendship

Most of the above list I did fairly recently, and I don't regret any of them. -But it isn't enough. I'm back in Rut-ville. What do you do when you feel stuck? I have been working out like crazy, and trying to stay busy and do a bunch of job hunting in hopes that it will satiate my desire to make BIG changes. How do I stop this feeling from coming back every 6 months?

well at least I know...

I'm not sure if it's good news or bad news. I still have hives, everyday. I think I'm in the sixth week, but I kinda lost count. I went back to the doctor today to follow-up. Fifth Disease is the likely diagnosis. Knowing that it isn't a food allergy is the good news. It also explains why I suddenly have the arthritic hands of a 90 year old. The bad news is that it will last for MONTHS. Reading on the internet, it could last for Y-E-A-R-S! Deep breaths. It won't kill me.

I have resigned myself to waking up itchy and sleepwalking to my antihistamines. Apparently, my body is on high alert and will react to everything which is why I ended up looking like this:

Advil did this to me. This is me sitting in the ER waiting for the Doctor. He took pictures of me to show his students! I can't try Advil again for at least 3 months. I'm too scared to. It wasn't fun looking like a plastic surgery freak.

After a bit of internet learning, this virus is usually seen in little kids and is really mild and short lived. Often so mild that people are unaware they have the virus.

My new car!

Okay, well not this exact one. Mine is blue/grey. Initially I wasn't super keen on buying a domestic car; then I learned that the car isn't even built by Chevrolet- it is a Suzuki. It had everything I was looking for: super compact, air conditioning, and almost new. It actually works out better for me in the end to buy a car still on warranty and finance it rather than buy an older car. I have no car knowledge at all. I have trouble pumping gas. It made sense for me to buy a newer car and avoid the problems older cars have. I'm really happy with it.

Follow-up

I realized that I never updated the blog on a couple of things. Firstly the handy dandy device above which was meant to turn my tv into my computer screen. Turns out it was crap. I think that converting the signal just killed the quality of the picture. The picture was so distorted that the fonts were unreadable- too tiny and fuzzy. Plus another drawback was the number of cables running to and from the device. It was a spaghetti factory. If it could be done wirelessly, I would. The whole reason I bought it was because I planned to cancel my cable. I wouldn't be using my tv at all, so I thought I would re-purpose it. When I called the cable company to cancel, they made me an offer I couldn't refuse. So it was all for not.

Laptop Lunch box:

I would move the picture above down here if I could but for some reason, I can't move pictures anymore. I love my lunch box. If someone else hadn't already thought of blogging about their packed lunches, I just might have done it! I spend the whole morning looking forward to opening up my lunch box. My co-workers and clients crane their necks to see what I have today. After doing so, they are usually disappointed with their own boring lunches. There is much to be said for making your meals esthetically pleasing.


And then there were the hives...

It's been 3 weeks and I still have them a little bit. Nothing like they were before. After being on the really strict elimination diet for days I was no further ahead. According to the directions, after a day or two eating plain rice and veggies the hives should go away. They didn't, instead I developed something like arthritis in my joints. Wow, that was awful. Ever tried to not use your hands AT ALL? It's impossible. After all of that, it probably wasn't an allergy at all, but a virus. Hopefully it will just continue to get better. I'd cross my fingers, but they hurt.

Dreaming of yogurt

This is my punishment for giving up sugar. I got so cocky that I could give up sugar that the universe made me give up everything. Universe, I'm sorry.

The allergy elimination diet is so restrictive! I pretty much eat the same meal three times a day. Brown rice, fish, most fruits and veggies and hemp milk. That's it. It's working, the hives were significantly better, and today almost gone. So as long as I don't have hives tomorrow I will be adding in one new food tomorrow. It's a tough decision. I want to add something that will bring the most variety to my diet. I think I have finally decided on yogurt. I am craving it like mad. Or I'll add soymilk or corn tortillas ... or... or... It's sort of like that game- if you were on a desert island and could choose one food what would it be? Is it wrong that I kinda want to add candy?

10 days of hives

Yeah. It sucks.

I've never had a reaction like this before. I have looked at all the external things in my environment and have ruled out soaps etc. Today I have come to the realization that it is something I have lately been eating almost everyday. I thought I was in the clear yesterday, but this morning, the hives were back- full force.

I'm home sick today writing a food journal and researching elimination diets. Even in the darkest gluten-sickness days before I knew I had Celiac disease, I never kept a food journal. I'm not sure why I am so resistant to tracking what I eat. But I'm doing it now. I have figured out a couple of possibilities. I am now on the toughest diet ever. Basically brown rice, fish, fruits and veggies and water. That's it. No dairy, no soy, no gluten free breads, no eggs, no beans, no potatoes and no sugar. I do this until I don't have any hives and then add in one food every 3-4 days. It is recommended that that you wait 21 days before you add in any new foods. I know that I would never last that long, so I'm doing a variation.

HIVES!

Yeah, sadly I don't mean that sort of hive. I have had hives nearly everyday for the last week. It took a while for me to figure out that no, the cats don't have fleas, I have not been bitten by 100 mosquitoes, and there are no spiders in my bed. It began slowly, but by Saturday morning I woke up covered head to toe with my skin itching so badly it hurt. I got to work early because I knew there was Benadryl there. I spent the day drugged out, there is a good reason you aren't supposed to take it during the day. I'm glad my shift was 12 hours long, because I wouldn't have been safe to drive! I found it really hard to follow a conversation, it seemed everyone was talking for entirely too long and it was tough to pretend that I was able to follow along.

Yesterday, the hives were gone. But when I was heading to bed, I realized that I was itching again. Sure enough, the hives were back. So off I went to the pharmacy. This is very frustrating, I have never had a reaction like this before. I have gone through all of the usual suspects- laundry soap, shampoo, conditioner. I have now narrowed it down to a body wash, coconut or blueberries. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is something on the blueberries. I've certainly eaten a lot of them when they are in season, but I don't think I've ever bought the imported ones. Maybe a pesticide??

UPDATE: oh crappity crap. Turns out blueberries are on the dirty dozen list. The list of the most highly contaminated foods list. They contain up to 52 chemicals on them and their skin is thin enough that the chemicals get into the fruit and can't be washed off. After reading that, the blueberries are going into the garbage. 52 chemicals? I probably just gave myself cancer.

I'm sweet enough

Well it's been more than a week since I gave up sugar. Obviously it's impossible to not eat sugar at all. So maybe it's more accurate to say that I have cut out refined sugar. My co-workers thought I was setting myself up to fail by being too strict. It's not like I'm cutting out fruit because it has sugar in it. I'm just cutting out junk. I actually gave up sugary crap once before and felt much better for it.

So far things have been okay. It was a tough work week, with lots of adrenaline rushes, no time to eat and a heck of a lot of police action- so I pretty much couldn't have chosen a worst week to quit chocolate and sugar. But I did really well. I'm half way through the second week and feeling strong! I learned something too. The more sugar you eat, the less sensitive you become to the sweetness. I had a slip and made myself a hot chocolate last night, but I couldn't even drink it! It seemed so sickly sweet that I didn't want it. Before nothing was too sweet for me.

I also said goodbye to the pump of vanilla flavouring in my soy americanos at Starbucks. Shannon told me it could be done. She was right! At home, there is no more agave or honey in my morning coffee either. I don't notice that big of a change in taste. Previously when a barrista skipped the vanilla flavouring (sugar) I could hardly drink it.

The only disappointment: I had sort of expected my mood/energy level to remain constant throughout the day. I still have lows, and just don't have the skyrocketing highs. Oh well, I'm better off.

Lunch Box

Okay I admit it. I'm blogging up a storm because I'm avoiding something I don't want to do. I had planned to go the pool today and swim laps but.... I don't want to get in my bathing suit. Gah! It's raining so I'm not going for a walk along the boardwalk. I'll go use the depressing bunker/gym later today. Picture it: a small windowless cement room with a 7 foot ceiling crammed with exercise equipment. The ceiling is already low, but for some reason they added a huge ceiling fan in the middle. Even I have to duck going under it. Clausterphobics couldn't hack it in there.

Wait, this post is about my lunchbox. I'm oh so in love. I bought the above lunchbox minus the bag and water bottle. Its actually fun to pack my lunch. Although I can cook at work and eat anything I want out of the pantry, I don't. It's a Celiac's worst nightmare. The cross contamination is everywhere! The kitchen counters are butcher block; wood absorbs gluten and passes it on even after bleaching. Communal living means too many hands are touching the food. Food prep is done with gloves and following food safe, but those precautions aren't nearly enough to keep me gluten-safe. Prison food is high carb, so it's not surprising that my clients continue to eat carbs afterwards. I can put tofu in the fridge without putting my name on it and know with absolute certainty that no one will ever touch it. My food preferences are nothing like my clients or even most of my co-workers who seem to survive on Mr. Noodles and Wonderbread!

Unfortunately my lunch bag got contaminated with roast beef blood, so I was in the market for a new lunch bag. Luckily I remembered my old favorite blog "Vegan Lunchbox!" The mom who wrote it has mostly moved on the other ventures, but she used to pack her son's lunch in these lunchboxes and post pictures of his lunch. It was genius! She was creative and got her son to eat so healthy because his lunch looked good. Since the Canadian dollar was almost at par, and Vegan Lunchbox had a discount code, I ordered one for myself! Everyone who sees it comments on it. If you are interested, I have a link to her blog on the right. On her site she has a link to the company that makes the lunchboxes Laptop Lunchbox, be sure to use the discount code!

Withdrawl

At work I talk a lot about drugs. I'm not a drug and alcohol counsellor, but helping clients work through their addiction and encouraging them to stay clean is a big part of the job. Talking about recovery is a big part of the process. Too often the clients that don't talk about staying clean are already using. I'm always amazed to hear what people can overcome and see how much courage it takes to change. It's always easiest to stay they same, challenging ourselves to do something new can be tough. How can you live a clean lifestyle if you've never lived it, and commonly you're parents didn't either. Recently at work we were talking about how treatment centres ration sugar and serve decaf coffee. It's not uncommon for addicts to create a pseudo-high by getting a sugar and caffeine buzz. This got me thinking- I'm admittedly a chocoholic, but I think that I'm really a sugar junkie. A sell my soul for Swedish berries kind of girl. I love the zing I feel after eating something sugary. It's a sure-fire pick me up, but the crash is depressingly spectacular.

So I decided that if my clients can kick a 20 year crack addiction, I can kick sugar. Currently at day 3. There is no chocolate in my house, and I know this. For some reason I keep mindlessly looking in my secret chocolate hiding place. The hiding place was taught to me by my Nana. Her theory was if chocolate is kept in the freezer it will have to thaw before it can be eaten, and by that point, the craving will have passed. This theory was inherently flawed, I have no problems eating frozen solid chocolate!

The tricky part is the places that sugary treats hide, like cereal. Haven't we all learned that breakfast during the work week consists of cereal? The rest of the meals don't have such monotony for me, so why be boring with breakfast? (slap chop?) The best part is that I have a jumbo bag of gluten free corn pops in my cupboard, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with those. Although yummy, they don't satisfy for very long. I knew that I needed to find breakfast alternatives so I went off to my local Choices. $80 later I had one bag of groceries. sigh.... Groceries is one area I allow myself to not budget- gluten free vegetarianism isn't cheap. But even for me this seemed a shocking price. I picked up some Agave. It's a natural sweetener, sweeter than sugar so you use less and in theory doesn't give a sugar zing. At 3 times the price of honey, it will be used sparingly. I also picked up some Lara Bars. They are naturally sweet date bars. The ingredients are so simple dates, peanuts, salt- that's it, but so yummy. So I'll feed the sugar cravings with more natural sugars as they have a lower GI (glycemic index) and therefore don't affect blood sugar like sugar/corn syrup/high-fructose does.

I also thought I could fill the cravings buy drinking more tea. I really like tea, but tend to only drink it at home in the fall and winter. I probably have 15 types of tea on hand right now, obviously I must like it. I wonder why I only have 2 types of coffee although I drink it much more frequently? I picked up a extra spicy chai tea to add to the collection. I have a vague plan of switching to decaf coffee and drinking tea instead. Tea makes me feel good, and I secretly think tea drinkers are cooler than coffee whores.

Wish me luck. If you see me licking bags of sugar in the local Safeway then you know I've failed.

One of those days

Sometimes I really get sick of helping people.

I like it even less when I can't help someone because they aren't ready or because they're living in denial.

My ears are shut off, I don't want to hear anymore.

I'm not solving any more problems right now. If I had a closed sign, it would be posted.

I don't want to hear about you. I am surrounded by people who talk about themselves.

Okay, my rant is over. I feel better, tomorrow I'll be back to optimistic Hilary who has nothing but time to listen.

We're all thinking the same thing

Hottie of the Game

Well! I wasn't sure if the Canucks would have enough heat to make it through one more game. Thank goodness they did, because hiding in the ranks was this hot francophone! Steve Bernier. I'm not sure if he's a bad boy like O'Brien is, (Google O'Brien, he's been getting into lots of trouble in Vancity) but he made the cut tonight. Fingers crossed for game 6!

Holy Hot Damn

Hottie of the game. Shane O'Brien. Did he play tonight? Why watch the game after finding this picture? Let's be honest, he should stop wearing shirts immediately. This post is totally for Sarah who claims she won't watch hockey until they play shirtless. A brilliant suggestion.

Return of the Hottie

Well given the Canucks' latest performance, we need a change. Shave your playoff beard, change your lucky undies and wash your socks. I think you should all ask yourselves what you can do to turn things around. My part is to bring back the hottie of the game. Oh Kevin.... When you google him, the second most often sought after info is if he is married. So how could I not pick Kevin Bieksa as the hottie of the game?

Yes.

I just realized that May 1st marks two years being gluten-free! It feels like longer, not because I feel punished, but because I've lived so much more in the last 2 years. Being sick every day for a decade really hampered me. In truth, it almost killed me. My new co-workers will sometimes make comments about how I'm missing out, or how they feel sorry for me. I don't miss gluten! I have had nightmares that I accidentally eat gluten. Who would miss the stuff that nightmares are made of?

I am steadily reading Gluten-Free Girl's book, savouring every word. She is a genius and totally inspirational. I could go on and on about her. But I'll end with her most important lesson: we aren't saying "no" to gluten, but saying "yes" to life. So why should anyone feel sorry for us gluten-free girls?

Ecrap?

I was suppose to have cancelled my cable tv once the olympics were over. I don't watch very much TV, but I do watch movies and tv off of the internet. I thought I would connect my laptop to my TV so I could watch on a bigger screen. I thought it would be as easy as connecting the two. Turns out it's not. I need a converter and like 3 cables. I couldn't find a converter locally, good thing I love internet shopping! I finally found one on Ebay, or course the seller is in Hong Kong. There is probably a 50% chance that its not a total piece of crap. This is what I bought:

There was a seller in the USA that was selling a very similar one for $50 plus shipping. Too much. This one was $19 including shipping. Fingers crossed....

Also, look to the right. All of the blogs I follow have been added to my links section. Ch-ch-check em out!

New Gadgets!

Ever since Nunavut Newbie tracked me down through her stat counter, I started thinking that I really have fallen behind in blogging gadgets (features). So I did a bit of searching. You don't even want to know the amount of info the new stat counter gives me. It'll probably tell me what colour your socks are. But don't let that deter you from stopping by!

I have also added a facebook and twitter link. Say you see something you like, and want to share it? Well just click on the social networking button you prefer. I'm not on twitter, so if you do tweet about me, I'd probably never know. (Although I would be very flattered!)

My favorite gadget is the new "Followers" section. I'm not totally certain what it does, but I hope that if you become a follower of my blog, it will notify you when I update. Please add yourself and let me know how it works.

My obsession with all things north continues. I find Nunavut blogs really interesting, but I have no interest in moving there. Nunavut Newbie's latest post shows a 12 pack of coke cans for $59! Can you imagine? Although the wages are higher than the rest of Canada, I would blow all of my money online shopping for gluten-free food.